I must be too annoying 4 u.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
