This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
