Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
