and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
