You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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