I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Drunk is not a location!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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