I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
babies were throwing up all over the place
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Shame is for Republicans.
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