Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Can I color on your dick again?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Randomize
