if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
