If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize