direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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