I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
