But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Randomize
