Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
