it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
