Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize
