i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
