I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
