we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
