Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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