I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
