Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
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