Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
