hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
