My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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