Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
