In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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