We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
