My sheets look like a crime scene.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
