I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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