So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
