So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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