she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
