shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
