I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
