I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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