am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I have aggressive nipples.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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