you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
