I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
