p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
