This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
