One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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