When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
