addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
