508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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