don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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