There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize