question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
