are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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