you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize