She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
