if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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