There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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