Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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