This girl is more easily done than said...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
