Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize