just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
