Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
