I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
