If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
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