She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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