that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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