So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
