i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She's the barista slut.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm like, not good at living.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
